I like the saying “One day you’re going to be with someone and realize why it never worked out with anyone else.” That’s beautiful because it offers comfort to me and anyone else who wonder what keeps going so wrong in relationships that they just cannot last? For a few years, I could not get past the 10 month mark with anyone. They just kept ending and it depended on how it ended whether or not I’d be sad or relieved about it. I can think back about two relationships where I was extremely relieved that they ended and I can think of about three where I was devastated. Now the thing about being devastated is that you tend to do things you wouldn’t do on a normal sane day. Doesn’t mean you’re insane, it means you’ve realized that the very thing you feared has come upon you and it makes you try one last attempt to hold on to someone you’ve become accustomed to. At that point we can either let go or be dragged. Now in some of us this one last attempt manifests itself in crazy and insane actions. In others it shows itself in uncontrollable tears and emotions that switch from anger to sadness and to pain every 20 seconds. You haven’t felt pain until you feel the pain of a broken heart. Tears have not flowed from your eyes until you cry the tears of a broken heart. Joy ceases to exist and the smile you wear so well has been suspended indefinitely. You don’t have to query, you don’t have to poll, you don’t have to investigate, when you see someone with a broken heart, that is all you see. A broken heart doesn’t hide itself well, disguises cannot cover it up. A broken heart screams for comfort but doesn’t say a word. That’s why you cry, that’s why you get angry, that’s why some go crazy because the heart is trying to speak but the words just won’t come out. A broken heart isn’t trying to make you depressed, it’s goal is not to make you stay in bed all day, but it is simply trying to mend itself and while doing that it has to apply some pressure, some heat and some pain because it has to be stronger in case there’s a next time. It has to be stronger if its going to love again, it has to fortify those weak parts that broke so easily in your past relationships, it has to find the strength to let go so that it can move on and this takes time. Time heals everything if we will just give it time. A broken heart, when it is whole again is ready to love but because of the pain we lock it away. Though our heart is much stronger and much wiser, we stop listening to it then our emotions start to rule our lives. The thing about love is that when you feel it, when you experience it, all your past hurts and pain will all be worth it. We start loving with emotions because we’ve imprisoned our hearts, no love can come in and no love can go out. Then we wonder why we can’t stay committed, we start to wonder why our relationships cannot last and why we are so vengeful and unforgiving. It’s because the very thing God gave us to love people unconditionally with, we have disabled it and decide to play it safe and never to truly love like we did at first. Have you ever had a broken heart? In basketball, when a player sustains a devastating injury he’s usually out for a considerable amount of time. He usually undergoes surgery and then he rehabs, he strengthens the part of the body that was injured or broken. Upon his return to play, all eyes are on him and he gets on the court and before he plays, he thinks about his injury because he still remembers what happened, how it happened and how it felt. He takes extra precaution while playing the game even though his injury has completely been healed and because of this, his confidence is slow to come back and he plays out of the fear of being injured again instead of trusting his body. This is how some of us approach broken hearts, we date and love with emotions and we go no deeper than the surface. You cannot experience the pleasures of swimming without being fully submerged. Dive and dive and dive again until you learn to swim in the sea of love. God Bless.