I found hope in a hopeless place

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Hey guys, if you’ve had an opportunity to read my previous post “I’m still standing” this is my second installment of that. If you haven’t had the opportunity to read it, I implore you to do so before continuing. I received a lot of feedback and emails on that particular post and this came mainly from people who knew me back then and understood the challenges I faced. I mentioned before that the reason why I’m telling you a little bit about myself is because I felt like my readers needed to further understand why I write the things I write. I’ve held back a few details because I feel like certain things  needed to stay between God and I but I try to disclose as much as I can. 
I ended that previous post admitting that after I realized what I had been called to do and having full knowledge of what I had to do, I chose to run. At the time it seemed right, it seemed easier than dealing with what was really going on. I knew what God had for me but I had no idea the process required in bringing that to fruition. All I knew was that I didn’t like to be discouraged, I didn’t like feeling sad and I want everyone to approve of me. Here is what I realized, God reveals things to us and in us according to what we are able to handle and He does it in stages. It’s hard to believe God not knowing that I would run, it’s hard to think that I caught the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth off guard. This is a God who told Abraham”I have made you a father of many nations,” speaking concerning things that were not as if they already were. He is Alpha and Omega, He knows all and sees all. This is a God that no one surprises, this a God that no one undermines, this is a God that knows exactly what needs to be done in order to bring about a finished work in us. This work that needs to be done is known as your process. A step by step manual or instructions ordered by God Himself. This is God who orders experiences and circumstances to align itself with purpose to bring about a character that you wouldn’t have known had you not gone through what you went through. The Bible says “it was good that I had been afflicted.” So here I am running from God being totally oblivious that while running from Him, I was walking into a process that would eventually lead back to Him. The bottom line is that God calls us, shows us our gift as if He was saying “this is your gift, your calling..but if I allow you to operate in it right now without your character being perfected then you’re gonna mess it up.” 
The prodigal son, given a gift way too soon without his character being perfected went and wasted it. What we miss about the story was the invaluable lesson he learned going through his process, what we missed was the uncontainable and unconditional love displayed through his father concerning his wayward son. What we also overlook is that the brother knew all along where the prodigal son was and he knew what he had been doing, but failed to go after him and restore him back as a son. The bible admonishes us as Christians to restore those who have been overtaken in sin, yet some of us like the older brother decides its best if we stay put and criticize from afar. For Christians to suggest that the prodigal son had walked out of the will of the father is a misrepresentation of what the intentions of the father was. As his son grew the father had to have noticed his character, his feelings and shortcomings. The father had to have noticed that there were things in him that needed to be addressed but couldn’t be addressed by just telling him. The father could’ve told him about his process, but eventually he would forget. He could have sat down and taught him, yes he would remember but he might choose to not go through the process but by giving him what he asked for, the father included him in a plan that will allow him to find himself with the pigs which brought forth a clear understanding of who he really was. Sometimes God allows us to spend time with the pigs so that we can know for sure who we really are. We run and run and run until we have already been there, tried that and done all and still nothing works. The important thing to notice about the scripture is that the son knew all along where the father was, he wasn’t lost, he wasn’t crazy..he knew where home was. The bible mentions the lost coin and the lost sheep but this boy it referred to him as the prodigal son, just a squanderer. He wasn’t lost but because of the condemnation that hung over his head he refused to go home. Spending the gift God gives us, will eventually run its course and end our days as men pleasers. We get depressed and discouraged because we hunger for a refill and we get so desperate and ignorant as to think that the husks that the pigs ate could fill in place of the gift God has given us. And when we eventually come to ourselves, when we remember what it was like to live in the house of a father who withheld nothing from us we take action. The son, coming into realization that he was willing to work because even the servants have food. He gets up after deciding that anything is better than this. Look around you, are you in that place where anything is better than this? He starts making his way to the father’s house and with every step though condemnation whispers into his ears, he keeps going. He walks and the neighbors see him coming up the road, he looks like he’s been in a pig pen, he smells like he’s been in a pig pen, but he’s walking with a sense of purpose and destiny like he found something out in the pig pen. They remembered when he left, how good he had looked, how his head had been in the air and how happy he seemed. Now they see him dirty, looks like he’s had it rough, but his head is still in the air. All the neighbors saw was that he was broken, filthy and a failure, they missed the fact that though he was all those things and more, he was coming home, he found the way to grace and was getting ready to walk right back into it. He walks up the lane and the bible says that the father seeing him afar off ran and fell on him and kissed him. The love of God, the mercy and compassion of God all epitomized by a running old man to a son that was dead but is now alive. Here’s a part you cannot miss, he tells his father of his plans, that he is willing to work just to eat and his father ignores him. Make me a servant, he ignores him, pay me to work and he ignores him again. When you come to the father, He’ll meet you half way and though you left bounded by the law, you come home and immediately you think you have to work for pay. The father looks at you and says the law says you have to work to get paid but you are not under the law you are under grace. So th father lavishes his grace on you. There is no condemnation for you, not now not ever. You don’t have to work for God’s love, come to yourself, know who you are and make the first step towards coming home.


🎶I’m coming home, I’m coming home.
Tell the world I’m coming home.
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday.
I know my kingdom awaits,
And they’ve forgiven my mistakes.
I’m coming home, I’m coming home.
Tell the world I’m coming.🎶

I’m going to stop here for today and will continue sometime this week with the son returning home serving as a parallel to me realizing that all the running that I had been doing led me back to God’s doorstep aligned with purpose and destiny, unafraid, unashamed and with no regrets. 1 Peter 5:10 says “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace Who imparts all blessing and favor, Who has called you to His own eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you.”  God bless. To be continued….

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