Before we date…..

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I know you want us to be together, I’ve noticed for some time now and even though we’ve been having such fun together, there are a few things you should know about me before we date. The last two relationships I’ve been in fell apart mainly because of me. I was jealous, controlling and insecure and those things ate at the root of my relationships until it just withered. I went through a few different emotions, after each breakup, I blamed her, I blamed me and then I blamed friends. Had I done better or maybe noticed the signs sooner, were the convictions that haunted me after the breakup. Only if she had told me how she felt when I messed up then we wouldn’t be where we are. I don’t know much about relationships apart from the fact that I spend time with you and care for and love you. Other than that, the emotional turns and the mending of arguments are things I don’t know how to handle just yet, at least not as well as others. So when these things come, I fail miserably at them. If you want to be with me, please understand that I’ll need your help. When I mess up let me know, don’t just keep it in, don’t tally it up, show me how to fix it. Don’t try to change me, don’t try to fix me, but let me change myself because I love you. Let me change because I’ve had a change of heart and mind and only I can do that for me. If you can oblige to not try to change me then I promise to do the same for you. Promise me you’ll build me up and not tear me down, that you’ll catch me when I fall, help me when I’m weak and love me when I’m mad. If I fail, encourage me, if I fall pick me up and if you can’t pick me up, then just lay there with me and just listen. Sometimes I’m just gonna need someone to just listen. I know you’re gonna want me to figure it out on my own, but I’m not gonna be able to do that all the time. If you want us to be together, you have to know that it means we are in this together, we help each other and we learn each other until we fall uncontrollably in love with each other totally trusting each other and giving our all to each other. If you want us to be together, you must know that I will never hurt you intentionally and if you are hurt I will do what it takes to fix it. I will support you in everything that you do even when I don’t agree with it. Please understand that we will face times of difficulty, our relationship will be tested sometimes even taking us to the brink. When this happens you have to be willing to stay in and fight for us, you have to promise me to not give up so quickly, to not give up on me so quickly. You can’t use words like unconditional if you don’t mean it because I just might take it as that. I’m telling you this because I love you and if it was so hard to get over girls that didn’t mean anything to me, imagine how rough it would be to get over you. So if you promise to love me, to help me, to forgive me and to work at it with me when it gets rough, then baby you’re my perfect girl!

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