Tall, dark and handsome, successful, caring, sensitive. Then there’s beautiful, independent, successful again and more. These are traits in men and women that we find appealing. I mean who wouldn’t want a female that was beautiful and successful? We have the perfect idea of the kind of person we want to be with for the rest of our lives. Some ladies since they were girls have a mental image of exactly how their weddings should be. It’s funny because when we date, we never usually hit the jackpot by finding someone who fits the exact description of our dream mate. There’s always something wrong, after all we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world, so how then can we be perfect? Television has spoiled us by giving a mental image of the “American dream,” which includes the successful mate, 2 to 3 kids, a dog named spot and a picket fence all around a beautiful house in an extraordinary neighborhood. So we date and date and we break up and break up because somehow the person we date isn’t quite what we envisioned. What’s unfair is that we know right away that they aren’t all what we expected but ladies in general love taking the challenge of trying to mold a guy into what she wants him to be. This is a relationship buster because you give a guy an impression that you love him for him, but then you don’t give him a chance to change his shortcomings for you. You don’t wait for that, you immediately try to change him, try to mold him into maybe the kind of man your father was or maybe he’s too much of the man your father was. So the constant prodding and molding attempts becomes crippling to your relationship. It eats at the roots, because if I believe that you don’t love me for me then our love is not unconditional and that’s not the kind of love I want. Michael Jackson had a hit years ago, I used to love it when I was a child. It’s called man in mirror, in this case…lady in the mirror. There’s no examination of self and though you seek the man of your dreams, ask yourself if you’re the lady of his dreams. Though you think you have a lot to offer, maybe he’s looking for more. Would you like him to try and change you? I tried to change a female once, actually I liked the way she was but when she started to branch out and become this different person, I tried to stop the evolvement and it didn’t workout so well. We spend time looking for things in people that are gonna make our lives better, but we neglect to make ourselves more appealing so that when we do meet this person of our dreams, we would have all the necessary assets to makes their lives better. That’s why it’s important that we take time for ourselves, especially after a failed relationship. If we can’t love yourselves, we can’t love anyone. You can’t give something you don’t have, that’s a fact. Of course I’m measuring this on a scale of what you need to expect if this is your approach when looking for an ideal mate. You have to understand that if we are constantly gonna look for only assets in people then we are gonna miss the one who will improve us instead of the things around us. You can change your outward circumstances but if you’re not changed internally, what you are on the inside will eventually find its way influencing who you are on the outside. If God accepts you with all your faults and shortcomings, how can you turn your back on a guy because he doesn’t fit the description of your perfect guy? Ladies a perfect guy is not one without faults, however a perfect guy loves you and only you. The next time you envision your perfect guys and you exhaust dating methods to find him, take a look at yourself first and ask yourself if you are the perfect girl for your perfect guy because honestly…Prince charming only dates princesses. Accept someone for who they are not for who they can be, because if they don’t become exactly who you thought they would be, at least you’ll still be in love.