Where I wanna be

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It’s very often that I stick to a daily routine. I like things to fall into place throughout my day because that makes me feel like I can control if not all, some of the things around me. So basically, in the mornings I would get up around 7, lay for bit until I decide to make coffee. I would then do some writing or researching until it was time to leave the house. I’ve had this morning routine only for about two months now and I developed it after I got out of my last relationship, therefore this routine was meant to break the one I had been using with my ex over the past few years. But it wasn’t really working…it wasn’t getting me over her as quickly as I would’ve liked. I would do all these things every morning, and still found myself thinking about her between coffee and brushing my teeth. This morning however, I got up and I got all the way to lunch and realized that I hadn’t thought about her at all today. That she wasn’t the first thing on my mind when I got up this morning. I immediately got excited because I’m thinking, I’m getting over this, I’m being cleared to move on from this situation. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself though, so I had to calm down for a second and think. I started to wonder if I had thought about her the day before. I thought long and hard and no, I didn’t think about her then either and same thing the day before that. I felt it then, I was finally starting to get over this relationship…yay! I’m loving every second of it, it feels like someone pulled me out of a race I’d been losing and gave me a chance to compete in a totally different race. I even just recently created an Instagram account as well and I’m posting pictures and making new friends and I’m playing my guitar again, learning new songs. I’m even going to church and I’m enjoying it, I’m not thinking about her in church. I’m doing so much to make myself happy and that passion for me is overflowing in all areas of my life. I’m laughing more and talking more and I’m starting to see the humor in things that didn’t even amuse me while I was in my funk. Remember when you just got out your relationship and everyone is annoying and nothing seems fun? This is like the total opposite, everyone seems fun and nothing is annoying. You see, you think you need it, you think you absolutely have to have it because you’re afraid of being alone. One day you’re gonna get up and that feeling of loneliness won’t be there anymore. It will have been replaced with a feeling of self worth and self appreciation. One step at a time, one day at a time and you’ll be like me…that when it happens…..when you’re finally over it, you won’t even notice. God Bless!

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