Ouch! Where’s the love?


I used to think I had a unique situation and that everything that has happened in my life over the past few months was reserved just for me. I didn’t at all think that anyone was going through anything similar to what I had been going through. But boy was I wrong…after getting emails and talking back and forth to some of my readers, I’ve learned that many people have gone through the “tough breakup”. Many are still struggling with getting over it. A friend who’ve never experienced it might see you as weak. If he doesn’t know better, he might not understand why you won’t get up out of bed or why you wont eat. After replying to the emails, I realized that I’ve been talking to the people who have gone through a break up recently and are now trying to figure out ways to get over it. People say love can be a dangerous thing, they say love can bring a big strong man to his knees…..can even cause him to cry. I think we get confused sometimes when we talk about the effects of love. Love doesn’t make you depressed, love doesn’t make you not want to eat and love doesn’t break your heart. Not receiving love does those things and when you don’t receive love, you receive something else called hurt. Hurt makes you cry, hurt makes you not want to eat and hurt breaks your heart. You see when we get out of a bad breakup, we are afraid to ever love again, but I’ve come to realize that we’re running from the wrong thing…love makes us feel good and we should always be willing to run to that, but its really not the love we are afraid of…no, what scares us is if we allow ourselves to love, will they love us back in return or if we fall for them, do they promise to catch us? We develop a fear to trust, a fear to even enjoy someone else’s company and a fear to love. I believe the term “falling in love” means this. Imagine standing on a cliff and you’re looking over it and what you see below amazes you. You see love…it looks like it, it smells like, it even moves like it…it must be love.
This love is a symbol of promises..things that will entice you to jump. So you get ready to “fall into love,” you jump off but the closer you get to it you realize it isn’t love at all..but you can’t pull yourself back up on the cliff. When you fall, it hurts because love was suppose to be the cushion that broke your fall. We don’t stay there though, it hurts, we cry but we don’t stay there. We have to get up and we can decide to walk back up to the cliff or not go at all. The courageous ones do decide to walk back up to the cliff, but that time of walking, we use that to figure ourselves out and find ourselves again. We used it to give ourselves pep talks…I like to tell myself “next time, it’s gonna be love for sure.” The ones that are too hurt and broken decides they don’t want to climb that cliff again and they try something else. To stay away from the climb and the jump is to stay away from true love. You can’t tell true love from the top of the cliff, you have to jump off and get a closer look. I want to leave this with you…the best way to get over the fear of loving is to just love.

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