I think after we get out of a relationship, even men can show a number of emotions. Seven days after the break up is crucial because this is when they present themselves. This is what I’ve noticed about me and a few of my friends after a break up. Whatever side we are on, the heartbreaker or the heartbroken, we tend to generally feel the same way as men, 7 days after the breakup. Enjoy.
I think back to a particular time, my relationship when it ended, ended at night. We were on the phone talking about us and what was happening to us. We decided to break it off…well she decided, I just thought it was a good idea.
A relationship ending like this can be catastrophic. I woke up the following morning not clearly grasping the fact that my girlfriend and I was no longer “my girlfriend and I.” There was now Dewayne and then there was Joyce. I kept telling myself no, because it couldn’t end so easily. I can remember just trying to deal with and doing fine, but every now and then I would think about her. I reassured myself that we would get back together in no time. My denial was evident.
Day 2-imaginary sense of hope
This was not a bad day. This was an easy day for me and this day made me feel like I was in the clear, that I had moved on, I felt like a man. This was false, I didn’t move on…I temporarily convinced myself that if she didn’t want me then I don’t want her. It gave me something to be mad at, something I would use to prevent myself from calling her. Something that would raise my confidence, telling myself “it’s not me, it’s her!” This attitude suggests a continued state of denial, but it made me feel oh so good at the time.
Day 3-Back to earth
Ah this day…this day. I remember it so clearly, I texted on this day. I said hello and watched the phone for about what seemed like 5 minutes for her to text me back and said hey. That was it…everywhere I would go on that day reminded me of her. I had nothing else to ask her, but it’s finally sinking in…she might be lost forever. At this stage, taking time to roll down memory lane is ill advised. Thinking back sunk me by the minutes, because when I finally realized she could be gone forever, I started day dreaming about what we used to do. Don’t do this, it slows down the process of getting over her.
Day 4-Pissed off
Day 4 is not a good day for you or for her because you are pissed. You’ve gone through the denial, hope, deflation and now that you’ve accepted these…what else is there to lose? You just want to get back that old high school jersey of yours that she loves so much. You don’t want it, but she can’t have it either. Day 4 is difficult because the things you are about to say or do, even though you don’t mean it, is going to determine whether you stay friends or not. This is the day when some of us lose it and lose them for good. Words are said on day 4 that cannot be taken back. Bells are rung that cannot be un-rung. This however sets up our day 5-7.
My Day 5 is filled with regrets because unfortunately, I did say the things that couldn’t be taken back. There is a reason why I did this. I thought that if we were truly done, then blowing up the bridge would make it easier not to speak to each other. Fellas we try to make it easier for ourselves, that’s what I tried to do, but I was selfish because I hurt her in the process just to make me feel good.
By the time Day 6 came, I wanted to apologize. Day 6, for many people would bring about the thought of how dating could be fun again. You fully haven’t accepted the break up, but you do see dating as a potential building stone to help to get past your ex. This is however a step too early. Dating at this point can be helpful but it can also be disastrous. There’s still a small inclination for hurt and you would want to use this as an advantage to make your ex jealous. The problem is that you are still fighting. You apologize and she doesn’t accept it, now you’re upset. You lose yourself at this stage, you start doing things out of your element.
This is a great day, you just don’t know it yet. You now accept the fact that the only girl you’ve dated for the past 5 years is done with the relationship and is now moving on with her life. You realize that if you keep holding on to her, you can never live your life. Acceptance brings about a change mentally. Acceptance allows you to see the glass half full. You’re guaranteed to live the rest of your life with no one but yourself, make it worth your while. Give yourself a chance to be happy and move on. Acceptance is the key that opens the gate to your new life, start over and enjoy it and apply what you’ve learned from your last relationship. God Bless and thanks for reading.